The Therapy Journal
This is where psychotherapy steps out of the session and into conversation. From our defences that shape our daily lives to the emotions that drive our choices, these pieces explore the human mind through a psychodynamic lens.
Whether clinical or cultural, every post asks the same question: what happens when we stop avoiding our feelings?
Where therapy meets everyday life…
Capacity Is the Work: Why Therapy Is Not About Eliminating Anxiety
Therapy is often misunderstood as symptom removal. In reality, lasting change comes from building the capacity to tolerate anxiety, grief, anger, and uncertainty without automatic avoidance. When emotional tolerance expands, insight deepens and defensive patterns gradually loosen.
Mentalisation and Fragility: Reflections from a Workshop
When working with emotional fragility, strengthening the capacity to think under pressure often comes before deep emotional work. Mentalisation, understanding behaviour in terms of thoughts and feelings, provides a stabilising foundation for therapy. When affect rises too quickly, reflection can narrow or collapse. Slowing the process and restoring shared thinking allows emotional work to unfold more safely.
What It’s Actually Like to Stand Between Two Ways of Working
What happens when the model that once organised your work no longer feels sufficient? Insight may be present, yet under pressure little changes structurally. This reflection explores the shift from meaning-making to structural thinking, tracking anxiety, understanding defences, and building capacity before integration. For therapists between modalities, this uncertainty can signal development.
When Conspiracy Thinking Becomes Emotional Avoidance
Conspiracy thinking is often treated as a belief issue. In therapy, it can function as emotional avoidance. By understanding the anxiety and vulnerability beneath rigid certainty, people can begin to build the capacity to stay present with uncertainty rather than defending against it.
When Someone Lets Themselves Be Affected and Then Chooses Not to Live There
In therapy and professional life, being affected doesn’t always lead to integration. Sometimes it leads to consolidation, retreat, or narrowing. This reflection explores what happens when two people reach that divergence point.
When Pain Has Never Been Fully Seen: A Note for Anyone Considering Therapy
Many people understand their past yet still feel stuck in familiar reactions. This short reflection explains how therapy slows emotional patterns down, helping you notice what happens in real time so change becomes possible without forcing intensity.
You Can’t Think Your Way Out of Autopilot: What Social Media Gets Wrong About Self-Observation and What Therapy Actually Changes
Social media often treats self-observation as a quick fix. Therapy takes a different approach. This article explores why awareness alone rarely changes patterns and how slowing down reactions in real time helps create genuine emotional choice.
Wuthering Heights and the Psychology of Haunting
Why does Wuthering Heights still feel so emotionally powerful? This reflection explores how stories can mirror unresolved emotional states and repeating relational patterns, and why therapy helps turn reaction into understanding without removing intensity.
Women’s Mental Health Right Now: Why So Many Are Exhausted, Anxious and Still Telling Themselves They’re Fine
Many women appear to be coping while carrying ongoing emotional strain. This article explores how anxiety and exhaustion can grow from constant emotional labour, and why therapy can offer a space to slow down, reconnect, and rebuild capacity.
When Care Feels Impossible: Exhaustion, Responsibility, and What Therapy Can and Cannot Hold
Caring for someone in distress can quietly become exhausting. This reflection looks at the tension between compassion and responsibility, and how therapy helps people move beyond burnout, resentment, or withdrawal without reducing complexity or blame.
How Abandonment Shows Up in Adulthood and Why Insight Alone Doesn’t Set You Free
Abandonment often appears as patterns rather than memories. This article explores how early relational experiences shape adult reactions, why insight alone does not change them, and how deeper therapy works inside the moments where those patterns still activate.
What My Vinyl Collection Taught Me About Memory, Regulation, and Meaning
Organising music by emotional function rather than genre revealed unexpected parallels with therapy. This reflection explores memory, nervous system regulation, and how meaning develops gradually when experience is allowed to settle without pressure.
What BACP Accreditation Means and Why It Matters Right Now
Therapy in the UK is not statutorily regulated, which can feel confusing when choosing support. This article explains what BACP accreditation actually means, what it does not guarantee, and how it can help people make informed therapy decisions.
Therapy and the Experience of Being Seen
Many people come to therapy looking for strategies but discover something deeper. This reflection explores how being emotionally seen and understood can reduce anxiety, soften self-criticism, and help previously confusing patterns begin to make sense.
From Pattern to Presence: How Early States Shape What We’re Drawn To
What repeatedly pulls our attention is often linked to early emotional states rather than the object itself. This article explores how patterns form, why repetition happens under stress, and how therapy helps restore choice through understanding state rather than content.
Emotional Fragility and the Need for a Raft in Intensive Therapy
Written for therapists, this article explores emotional fragility in depth work and why building containment before intensity prevents collapse. A practical reflection on capacity, countertransference, and why slowing down often protects both therapist and client.
What the Latest UK Therapy Data Really Tells Us and What It Means If You’re Thinking About Therapy
Therapy has quietly become mainstream in the UK, with more than a third of adults having tried it, and most finding it helpful. But beneath anxiety and stress, loneliness is often the real driver. As therapy moves online and into everyday life, this piece explores why human connection still matters, how to choose support wisely, and what actually makes therapy work.
Four Thousand Hours: A Reflection on Depth, Distance, and the Digital Room
After thousands of hours of online therapy, this reflection explores what makes emotional depth possible through a screen. It looks at how anxiety, defences, and emotional capacity show up in online sessions, and why presence and consistency matter more than physical location.
What Happens When You Finally Feel a Feeling You’ve Avoided?
Avoided emotions often feel intense when they first appear. This article explains why anxiety rises as feelings come closer to awareness, how emotional capacity develops in therapy, and why learning to stay present with emotion gradually reduces the need for avoidance.
The Hidden Map of Suffering: The Three Core Fears in Therapy
Anxiety, self-criticism, and relationship struggles often follow recognisable emotional themes. This article introduces three common fears: fear of self, fear of feelings, and fear of closeness, and explains how therapy helps people understand and work with these patterns over time.