The Psychology of the Inner Critic: How the Voice Inside You Took Power
We all know that voice, the one that whispers you’re not enough, shames you for resting, or punishes you for wanting more. But few realise that the inner critic began as a form of protection, not punishment. It was your mind’s way of keeping you safe in an unsafe world. The problem is, what once kept you alive now stops you from living.
The inner critic collects every label you’ve ever believed about yourself. Therapy helps you see who you are beneath them
Where the Inner Critic Begins
Everyone has an inner critic, that voice that questions your worth, mocks your efforts, and keeps you chasing impossible standards. But beneath its cruelty lies a purpose: protection.
The inner critic is often born in childhood, shaped by messages that taught you love was conditional, that approval had to be earned. It absorbed parental expectations, cultural ideals, and shame.
When you were hurt, ignored, or made to feel “too much,” this voice stepped in to keep you in line: Don’t speak. Don’t feel. Don’t need.
It was trying to keep you safe.
It just never learned when to stop.
The Inner Critic as a Defence
From a psychodynamic view, the critic functions as a defence mechanism.
It turns external threat into internal control: “If I punish myself first, no one else can.”
This illusion of control reduces anxiety, but it costs you vitality, spontaneity, and self-compassion.
Every time you self-attack, a part of you is trying to prevent rejection.
Every time you sabotage success, a part of you fears exposure.
The critic keeps you compliant, but disconnected from your authentic self.
How Therapy Disarms the Inner Critic
Therapy doesn’t silence the critic by force; it helps you understand what it’s protecting.
When you meet that voice with curiosity rather than resistance, something remarkable happens: it softens.
You begin to hear what’s underneath the criticism, grief, fear, and loneliness.
As those feelings find words, the critic no longer needs to shout.
You reclaim authority over your inner world, instead of fighting the critic, but by integrating it.
The Transformation
In time, what was once an inner persecutor becomes an inner guide.
Self-awareness replaces self-attack.
Boundaries replace perfectionism.
Compassion replaces shame.
The same intensity that once fuelled your self-criticism can become the engine for self-knowledge and creativity.
You don’t have to destroy the critic, just teach it a new role.
If this resonates…
If you’re tired of fighting the voice inside your head, therapy can help you uncover where it began, and who you were before you needed it.
FAQ: The Inner Critic and Therapy
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It likely developed as a way to avoid rejection, criticism, or punishment early in life, an unconscious strategy to feel safe through self-control.
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Yes. Therapy helps you understand the function of your critic, regulate the anxiety it defends against, and develop a more compassionate internal dialogue.
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That’s common. In therapy, you’ll learn to slow the process down, to feel before reacting, so the critic’s voice becomes distinct from your own.
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Healthy reflection is different from self-attack. The goal isn’t to remove self-evaluation but to remove the shame that drives it.
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Notice when it speaks and what emotion comes right before it. Beneath every harsh word is a feeling waiting to be felt.