Issues

You’ve tried naming it anxiety, depression, shame, relationship problems, trauma but the labels don’t change the fact that you still feel stuck

The truth? These struggles aren’t random, they often trace back to underlying historical fears: the fear of your own feelings, the fear of closeness, and the fear of yourself.

They show up as the same anxiety that won’t subside, the familiar patterns that keep pulling you back into old pain, and the punishing inner critic that wont shut up.

This is the unfinished business of your past.
Still alive, still dictating the present. And until you face it, it won’t let you go…

Semi-abstract image of a man holding a balloon with a sad face in front of his head, symbolising fear of feelings, anxiety, depression, overwhelm, anger, and guilt

Are you scared to feel something?…

Anxiety & Overwhelm

Anxiety isn’t random. It’s the body’s way of warning you about feelings you’ve learned to fear. The more you fight it, the louder it gets.

What’s the feeling your anxiety refuses to let you feel?

→ Imagine if instead of being run by anxiety, you could begin to face the feeling it’s been protecting you from, and find relief on the other side

Depression & Emptiness

Depression dulls everything, but beneath the numbness there’s pain you’ve decided is unbearable. Cutting it off comes at the cost of joy, love, and vitality.

What would it mean to feel something, not just nothing?

→ When you allow your feelings to surface, you begin to rediscover colour, depth, and aliveness

Anger & Guilt

Anger buried alive turns into guilt, shame, or anxiety. Facing it feels dangerous, but avoiding it keeps you at war with yourself.

What might change if you gave your anger a voice instead of a prison?

→ Expressed honestly, anger becomes strength, clarity, and the power to protect rather than destroy

Anxiety, depression, and anger that leads to guilt, they’re all ways of keeping feelings at bay. The body carries what the mind tries to outrun.
Fearing our feelings can make everyday emotions feel overwhelming or unsafe. You might notice yourself avoiding sadness, anger, or even joy, keeping your inner life tightly controlled. Over time, this avoidance can reinforce anxiety and self-doubt, keeping you stuck in familiar, but unhelpful patterns.
Common manifestations include: anxiety, panic attacks, emotional numbness, self-criticism, and perfectionism

Can you bear to feel what’s real?

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Semi-abstract image of a woman with her hair covering her face, representing fear of closeness, relationship struggles, and trauma from the past

Who or what are you distancing from?…

Relationship Problems

Patterns repeat for a reason: old fears of closeness and abandonment replay themselves with new partners, colleagues, even therapists.

Whose voice are you really hearing when you pull away, lash out, or cling on?

→ When you separate the past from the present, you can finally show up in relationships as yourself instead of repeating history

Trauma & The Past

What feels “past” is never really gone if it’s still dictating your present. Defences born in survival can end up ruling a life long after the danger has passed.

Is it time to stop surviving and start living?

→ Healing from trauma frees you from old patterns of vigilance and opens the possibility of living with presence, safety, and choice.

Relationships bring up every old wound, rejection, abandonment, and suffocation. The defences that once protected you now keep you disconnected.
When we fear closeness, it can show up as hesitancy to trust or let people in. You might find yourself pushing others away, avoiding vulnerability, or relying on distance-creating behaviours. This is your mind’s way of keeping you safe, even though it can interfere with meaningful connections.
Common manifestations include: social withdrawal, problematic pornography use, fear of commitment, relationship sabotage

Who’s left when the armour falls?

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Semi-abstract image of a headless body surrounded by hands, symbolising shame, self-sabotage, identity, and struggles with self-worth

What about you…

Shame & Self-Sabotage

The inner critic promises safety but delivers paralysis. Old defences that once protected you now keep you small, isolated, and hating yourself.

If shame wasn’t in charge, who might you become?

→ When shame loosens its grip, your energy returns towards the life you want instead of tearing it down.

Identity & Self-Worth

When your worth has always been conditional, it can feel impossible to know who you are beyond performance, achievement, or pleasing others.

Who are you when you’re not living for someone else’s approval?

→ In therapy, you begin to uncover a self that’s not defined by others, but rooted in your own worth and direction.

The harshest battles are the ones you fight within. Shame, self-sabotage, identity confusion, all the ways you turn against yourself.
Fear of ourselves often involves feeling fundamentally flawed or “not enough.” You may notice recurring negative thoughts, doubts about your decisions, or patterns of self-sabotage. Bringing awareness to these internal fears is the first step toward confidence in yourself.
Common manifestations include: low self-esteem, intrusive thoughts from the inner critic, self-defeating/sabotaging behaviours
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Do you want to keep surviving the same story?

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Facing these fears feels unbearable But it’s also where real freedom begins…

Because underneath all the panic, shame, and destructive patterns is the part of you that wants to live differently.
The part that refuses to settle for the same cycles on repeat.
The part that knows life can be more than just emotional survival.

Therapy is where you stop running.
Turn towards what feels impossible. And discover what changes when you finally face it…

Contact Rick

Ready to stop running from this?…

If what you’ve read here resonates, don’t put it off. Take the first step, reach out and let’s start making sense of what’s been holding you back.

Click here if you are in crisis
Guidance around reporting historical abuse

FAQs

  • Relationship self-sabotage often comes from unconscious fears of closeness, intimacy, or abandonment. In therapy, we look beneath the surface to uncover where these fears began and how they shape the present. With support, you can move from pushing people away to creating healthier, more secure connections.

  • Anxiety isn’t random.

    Persistent anxiety usually signals emotional conflict beneath the surface. Anxiety is often tied to feelings you’ve been avoiding for years. Therapy helps to uncover these hidden patterns, in turn, reducing anxiety while building the capacity to feel and manage your emotions more freely.

  • Harsh self-criticism often comes from an internalised voice, which is critical and punishing and turns you against yourself. Therapy helps to challenge this inner critic and strengthen your healthier, adaptive self, so you can begin relating to yourself without collapsing into shame.

    The harsh inner critic is usually the voice of past experiences, not your true self. Therapy helps loosen shame’s grip so you can relate to yourself with more confidence, without losing your drive.

  • When your history still lives on inside you, old coping strategies get triggered again and again. Therapy helps you recognise these cycles and finally step out of them. Breaking free from repetition into emotional freedom.

  • Yes. While surface-level coping strategies often provide temporary relief, psychodynamic therapy works at the emotional core. By addressing feelings and defences you are unaware of, even deeply rooted problems like chronic anxiety, shame, trauma, or relationship struggles can shift in lasting ways.. It’s hard work, but it’s where freedom begins.

  • Absolutely. Online therapy creates a focused, safe space to explore the issues holding you back, no matter where you are, while still going to the root of the problem.