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The human connection is both the means and the end

Transference provides the impulse necessary for understanding and translating the language of the unconscious; where it is lacking, the patient does not make the effort or does not listen when we submit our translation to him. Essentially, one might say, the cure is effected by love. And actually transference provides the most cogent, indeed, the only unassailable proof that neuroses are determined by the individual's love life.

Source - Sigmund Freud, Letter to Jung, 6 December 1906. The Freud/Jung Letters (Princeton University Press 1974), pp. 12-13.

Everyone is now a stranger among strangers. Kinship libido – which could still engender a satisfying feeling of belonging together, as for instance in the early Christian communities – has long been deprived of its object. But, being an instinct, it is not to be satisfied by any mere substitute such as a creed, party, nation, or state. It wants the human connection. That is the core of the whole transference phenomenon, and it is impossible to argue it away, because relationship to the self is at once relationship to our fellow man, and no one can be related to the latter until he is related to himself.

Source - C.G. Jung, An Account of the Transference Phenomena Based on the Illustrations to the Rosarium Philosophorum. CW 16: The Practice of Psychotherapy, par. 445.

We long, rightly, for the human connection; we long for it with our fellow human beings and we long for it within. This is, at one and the same time, a longing to be a part of the universe and to be whole in oneself. The opposite is alienation, when one neither belongs to the universe nor is at home within oneself. I would suggest that falling in love can be an expression of that longing: that through relationship I might find that I belong in the world, and I might also come home to myself. This deeply longed-for goal – that of relationship to others and to oneself – has been symbolized throughout the ages by the object which is prized beyond all others: the Water of Eternal Life, the Holy Grail, the Golden Apples of the Sun, and the Philosopher's Stone. It is no accident that the fairy tales that describe the quest for such an object end not only with the hero or heroine finding and bringing back the object, but also with a marriage.

The human connection is both the means and the end.

Each person's path of individuation, of becoming whole, is unique to them, but each person's path also has elements in common with everyone else. Certain key elements within the psyche need to be integrated over a person's lifetime, and these are: the repudiated part of the self, the Shadow; the contrasexual aspect of the self, the Animus or Anima; and the total personality, the Self.

Source - Deirdre Johnson, Love: Bondage or Liberation?: A Psychological Exploration of the Meaning, Values, and Dangers of Falling in Love (Karnac Books 2010), Ch. 4: The Teleological Discourse, p. 83.

Art: Eugen Varzić, 'Lonely Boy'

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